


Fly

by AgentCoop, Myka



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Broken Bones, Depression, Goretober 2019, M/M, Mentions of Ash - Freeform, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Post-Canon, pre-GoL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 09:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20871740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCoop/pseuds/AgentCoop, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myka/pseuds/Myka
Summary: Eiji finds himself on a track field, four years after Ash’s death.And all he wants to do is fly.





	Fly

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 2 of Goretober: Broken Bones
> 
> As always, heed the tags.

The last bell rings with a sound that Eiji still isn't quite used to. American bells seem to call chaos to them. The shrieking of alertness is so different from the Westminster chimes he grew up with.

_“You need to get a job. If you want to stay here you need to do something.”_

Being an assistant language teacher at a private high school wasn’t Eiji’s idea of an ideal job. The kids here didn't really care to learn Japanese, they just wanted the credits to move forward or their fancy language mention in their record.

But it was this or losing his Visa. And Eiji had decided to stay in New York.

Eiji locks his classroom and heads out of the building. He cuts through the field like he always does. It is a pleasant thing most days, watching the students as they end their day with track and field, the camaraderie, the sounds of laughter and fun.

But today, something is new.

Eiji stops by the edge of the field close to the long beams, the thick mats.

The pole vaulting apparatus.

Eiji glances around, but only spots the long distance runners far at the other end of the field.

Then he remembers a faculty memo about the school hosting a sporting events that weekend.

The first track and field meet of the year.

Eiji doesn’t really think, he lets his bag drop to the ground and makes his way into the field. The pole is heavy in his hands just like he remembers. It’s like holding an old friend. Eiji glances at the incomplete setup. The mats are there and the launch position is ready, but there are no bars to jump over.

_Maybe I could do it one last time…_

Eiji knew his pole vaulting career was over. He’d always intended to go back and give it another shot after returning to Japan, but after Ash… after everything. His world had turned upside down and he’d never set foot on another field again.

His body is no longer one of an athlete. He’s lost weight. He’s lost muscle. The pole that felt like an ally just seconds before, now feels full of doubt.

_“You’re lucky. You know how to fly.”_

Eiji blinks and sees the dead end before him, the shouts of people after them and the rusty pipe in his hands.

He remembers it. All of it.

Ash watches him like he’s lost his mind. Skip seems excited and eager.

And for the first time in months the depression that had shrouded every waking moment is gone. His options are clear. Stay and die. Fly and try.

Eiji’s ears catch the distant laughter of the track team. They are too far for him to see, but he knows Sing must be there somewhere with his friends.

He stands a distance from the mats. Holds the pole with both hands.

Fly and try.

Fly and try.

Ash would tell him to stop. Ash would call him an idiot just like before.

Stay and die.

Eiji runs.

He remembers… Ash watching him as he ran past. He remembers the loud clank the pipe made when he hit his mark. The way it creaked and bent unnaturally on his flight. _Please don’t break please don’t break_. He remembers the morning sky, and knowing he made it, and that flicker of moment when he was sky high and looked back and there was Ash. Green eyes wide with awe.

Eiji always wonders what precise second it was that his heart was no longer his own.

Was it from that very first glance in the bar? From the second or third?

Why had it been so hard for him to accept how much of his heart belonged to Ash. Why was it so hard to understand until it was too late for them? Until— 

Eiji lets out a scream as he runs and the pole hits the mark. He swings upwards with all his might. Pushes himself up in the air.

For a moment, he flies.

For a moment, he sees the wall from his memories. He sees the rising the sun.

He turns and…

There’s no one there.

The sound of a gunshot explodes in the distance and Eiji feels a pain in his gut like fire. His grip on the pole slips.

It’s wrong.

It’s all wrong.

He misses the mat by inches. Enough to try and hold on to it, but not enough to break his fall. The second he hits he can hear the snap of bone and the burst of agony shooting up his leg, stealing his breath away.

Eiji collapses against the side of the mat, managing to curl in on himself just enough that his head hits the cushioning and doesn’t crack against the ground. “Ah—” he manages, his eyes squeezing close.

He bites his lip, trying not to cry out from the pain.

_Did anyone see him fall? _

Suddenly the humiliation hits him so hard that he wants to die. What the fuck was he thinking. Twenty-three years old and pretending he’s still a kid. It’s excruciating but he has no choice but to wait it out and let it ebb until it’s contained.

The shame is somehow worse than the pain. It tangles within him, black and full of despair.

There was no reason for him to do this. No reason to try. And now that it’s done, and now that he’s hurt, all Eiji can think is that he just wanted to fly again.

He wanted to feel again, with no fear, no regret.

He wanted to see a flash of green eyes.

Eiji tries to sit up, but can’t. He falls back against the mat and throws an arm over his face, trying to focus on breathing through the throbbing of his leg.

“Oh my god! Mr. Okumura?”

Eiji’s heart pounds in his chest, full of adrenaline, full of memory. It’s to much, he chokes, suddenly unable to draw in a full breath. 

He doesnt’ recognize the student standing over him. “I’m...okay...I–” he can’t even push a full sentence from his lips. “Hurts,” he manages.

“Oh my god! Coach! Coach!”

There’s some sort of scuffle, some movement of bodies around him, and then he hears it.

“Eiji?”

It’s Sing. 

Eiji fights the tears that want to roll down his cheeks. He was always weak. Always.

“Fuck— Your leg... Fuck.” Sing’s voice is frantic. Eiji can’t even remember the last time he heard it that way. “Did someone call an ambulance?!”

Sing drifts off for just a moment, there is a rattle of voices, and Eiji tries to pretend that he’s any place but here.

“Go get help now!” Sing orders.

Eiji can hear the pounding of feet as the rest of the boys start to run, and then Sing is back at his side.

“The team is getting help. Your...the bone. The bone is sticking out from...just...shit.”

“Don’t swear,” Eiji manages. He can at least pretend he’s maintaining some modicum of authority. The voices fade and he’s suddenly alone with Sing.

If there’s one thing that Eiji is good at, it’s pretending that everything is alright.

He forces himself up with one hand, refusing to give into the spinning dizziness, or the swelling nausea within his stomach.

His left leg is covered in blood.

It coats the grass around him, soaking into the ground to feed the worms. Eiji can see the bone, sticking out from his shin, shattered and useless. His skin is already swelling around it, a nasty dark black color, and he watches as the blood trail down to his socks, soaking them too. “Oh,” he manages, before another wave of dizziness overtakes him and he finds himself falling sideways.

Sing catches him, carefully lowering him to the grass. “Don’t move,” he orders.

He sounds angry.

Sing has grown so much. His voice is deep now, deeper than Eiji’s, and he’s taller too. “He would have liked to see you now.” Eiji reaches a hand out, but Sing is wavering in his view.

“What the fuck, Eiji,” Sing says, smacking his hand away. “What the fuck were you thinking? Why would you–”

“Ash saw me fly once.”

Sing’s kneels by Eiji’s side, brushing hair back from his face with one hand. His body is damp with sweat from practice, his jersey hangs loose on him, but Eiji can see the muscle underneath. “What did you say?” he asks.

Eiji tries to shrug, but the movement jars everything and he grimaces in pain. “He...I just…” he quiets, trying to pull all of his scattered thoughts in, trying to fight through the haze of hurt. “Once you take off from the ground. When you pole vault? There are three stages. The bending of the pole. The straightening of the pole. The release. The release is when you fly.”

“Eiji,” Sing starts.

“Let me finish,” Eiji says. Somewhere in the distance, he can hear the sound of a siren. “There are three parts to my life. Before I met Ash. When I was with Ash. And now… after Ash is gone.” He closes his eyes, and there is wetness there, ready to fall.

“Eiji, I know–”

“I’m nothing now. I’m at the last step. The end. There is nothing more. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He’s gone and...there is nothing left but to wait,” Eiji cries out. “But in pole vaulting?” He tries to gesture up, but the pain takes the breath from his lungs and for a second all he can do is lie there and suck in air.

“The ambulance is almost here, Eiji...”

Eiji smiles up at Sing, the tears finally falling. He watches the darkening sky. “In pole vaulting, the last step is when you start to fly. And when I fly, I can still see his green eyes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find us on Twitter:  
[Agentcoop](twitter.com/agentcoop1)  
[Myka](https://twitter.com/mykafl)


End file.
